Friendship Friday ~ What do you value in your close friendships with women?

This is my final Friendship Friday post for now :(

I hope you have enjoyed the insights of the women who have shared over the past months about their friendships ~ my thanks to each and every one.

A new series of posts are coming to Fridays from next week ~ they will be fun, informative and something you can use! I think you are going to love them!

For now, I can't think of a more lovely woman to end my Friendship Friday posts with than the talented Rachel Hauck!

Rachel Hauck

In my college days, I was in a sorority. I loved the camaraderie we shared. I loved meeting in the kitchen at one a.m. to raid the fridge of left overs. I loved how much we laughed. To this day, it's one of the things I love most about my friends. I value honesty and acceptance in friendships. I don't do well with women who want to change me. I love engaging conversation and insight on life.

On Tuesday nights, I participate in a ministry which takes place in a coffee shop. There are five of us, all women. We've had long conversations about life and love sitting around the table. What I value from these women in their insight about God and life, and ability to listen. And yes, we laugh.

Sweet Caroline ~ Love Starts With Elle ~ The Sweet By and By (Dec, 2009)

Friendship Friday ~ What do you value in your close friendships with women?

Tricia Goyer

I value the numerous friendship I have with other women of different ages. I have friends who are grandmothers and some young friends who are young and aren't married yet. I love that fact as since we're all Christ-seekers I learn something from each of them. Older woman have a lot of share from life about walking with God through numerous phases of life. But just as important, I love to see how the faith of young women leads them to follow God in extraordinary ways. Some of these young gals have faith and trust that is so pure and awe-inspiring. It makes me want more of that!


World War II Liberators series ~ Chronicles of the Spanish Civil War ~ The Swiss Courier ~ Love Finds You in Lonesome Prairie, Montana (Oct, 2009)



Erynn Mangum

I think the ability to be completely honest and the ability to laugh are the two things I value most in my friendships with other girls. I really love spending time with someone who I don't feel the need to impress. My three best friends are probably my sister, my mom and a girl I've known since junior high - all of them know every single weakness and struggle I have, but they are also all very good at making me cry because I'm laughing so hard. That's invaluable! :)


Missmatch ~ Rematch ~ Matchpoint ~ Cool Beans (April, 2010)

Friendship Friday ~ What do you value in your close friendships with women?

Lisa Tawn Bergren

A fun sense of humor, honesty, loyalty and a desire to become all God has made them to be. Most of my closest friends have all these attributes! But it's taken a while to discover them and build the close relationships I desire. With my three closest pals, they feel free to challenge me and ask me probing questions that help me on my path to be a deeper disciple--and I can do the same. Because of the loyalty, honesty and sense of humor attributes, this works for us--I know they love me, no matter what is said, and they know the same. We can laugh and cry together...and ultimately, just grow closer.

The Begotten ~ The Betrayed ~ The Blessed ~ Breathe ~ Sing (March, 2010)




Siri Mitchell

I value the genuine. So often as women, and especially as Christian women, we have so many roles to play. Daughter, wife, mother. Employee, volunteer. It’s terribly difficult to balance all of these roles and if we’re not careful, we can spend a lot of time trying to look as if we’re doing all things well. A lot of energy trying to be what others expect…to achieve an ideal. I value women who are willing to forgo expectations and just let me be myself. I don’t have to pretend when I’m with these friends and I’m not worried that I’ll offend them if I leave the perfect daughter-wife-mother-employee-volunteer script behind. After all, I’m a real person, not a stereotype.

A Constant Heart ~ Love's Pursuit ~ She Walks in Beauty (April, 2010)

Friendship Friday ~ What do you value in your close friendships with women?

Tamara Tilley

What I value the most with my dearest friend, is that our friendship is timeless. Vicki used to live and work at Hume Lake, the Christian Conference Center where I presently live and work. We would work out with each other in the gym in the wee hours of the morning, and snatch moments together throughout the day. When she moved to Fresno, I was afraid that we would lose our connection. We both lead such busy lives and the distance between us now is about two hours. Our work schedules don’t line up so we don’t get many opportunities to visit. But our friendship is still as strong today as ever. When one of us calls the other, we fall easily into conversation with each other. We don’t keep track of who called last, or get angry when a call is not returned. We know we are each very busy and time slips away easily. We do not waste valuable moments on the phone making excuses as to why it’s been so long since we talked. We just choose to appreciate each phone call or brief visit, and hold each other up in prayer throughout the week.

Blessings

Full Disclosure - Abandoned Identity - Criminal Obsession

Michelle Sutton

There are so many things I am not sure where to start. With older women there is mentoring and lots of hugs to be gained. I lost my mother when she passed away in 1998 and it has left a gap in my heart that only a mom can fill. Since that time I have felt more drawn to women in their 60s than I have ever before (I'm 42). Sometimes you can really share your heart with an older woman and the special bond that develops makes you feel like you are family. I can't tell my mother things about my current life and what is going on with my kids but I can tell an older woman friend who has been there, done that. I love hugs from my "sisters" in Christ and giving/receiving words of encouragement. I also enjoy mentoring younger women. My boys are both in high school so I've learned a lot I can share with them. This life is hard, so every word that lifts me up or that I can share (from my heart) that lifts someone else up brings us that much closer together. I love my girlfriends. I can laugh with them and cry with them and we feel like sisters in every way even though we aren't related in the flesh. I also adore my cyber friends. I'm a visual person so seeing something in print like, "your story really blessed me" does more for my heart than hearing someone say it in passing. I can function for weeks on those few words. Women are just special to me. Ironically, I didn't care much for my female friends when I was a teenager - and at that time I wasn't a Christian yet myself. They drained me with their boring problems and everything they talked about seemed petty to me. I guess when you have a chronically ill parent like I did you want to slap petty people and say, "enough whining already. Thank God for what you do have." But that's harsh, I know. I've learned since coming to faith in Christ to be patient and offer grace to people who are not necessarily my type of people or who don't see the world the way I do. Oh, and best of all, I love to talk about books and share a great book with a friend. There is so much amazing conversation that can take place surrounding a wonderful story. Okay, so I wrote a novel with my answer. Did you expect any less? Hehehe. Forgive me. :)

It's Not About Me - It's Not About Him

Friendship Friday ~ What do you value in your close friendships with women?

Jennifer Erin Valent

Thanks for including me in your mailing for this. I actually wrote about this subject for Proverbs 31 ministries' blog last year. It's a subject very dear to my heart.

Everyone knows life has a way of overwhelming, and when it starts to creep in and grab me by the throat, my personality starts to slip away. That's when I know I need a girls' night out! Most of my girlfriends are people I grew up with, and when you spend years maturing with the same group of people around you, part of them becomes part of you. Because of that, they have an uncanny way of reminding me who I am. Being so close with them is a joy, but sharing my faith with them takes that joy to another level. I'm so blessed to have friends in my life who not only help identify me but who are encouragers in my walk with the Lord.

Fireflies In December ~ Cottonwood Whispers



MaryLu Tyndall

Honesty, complete openness, and an accepting, non-judgemental attitude. Hard qualities to find but worth looking for because they create a safe environment in which to share deep, personal issues and receive genuine understanding instead of criticism. I love that my close women friends "get me". You know? I can be myself with them and not worry about competition or saying or doing something that will turn them away. They understand the things I'm dealing with and that makes me feel like I'm not alone.

The Redemption ~ The Reliance ~ The Restitution ~ The Red Siren ~
The Blue Enchantress

Friendship Friday ~ What do you value in your close friendships with women?

Amy Wallace


I value two-way honesty and loyalty. The friendships I treasure are ones in which my friends are honest with me and allow me to be honest with them. For example, here's how my best friend handles my calling her to complain: she'll listen, then calmly say, "Amy, you're sinning. If you'd like to go deal with God and then call me back, I'd be happy to help." I need that. I love her honesty and her willingness to point me to God. Her loyalty too because she won't let me keep on sinning. I know she wants the best for me and I do for her. Another of my dearest friends calls me and we share our struggles and frustrations, but we always pray. I can trust her to be honest, loyal in keeping our discussion between us, and always point me to our heavenly Father.

Ransomed Dreams ~ Healing Promises ~ Enduring Justice



Karen Ball

Because those friendships [Christian] are based on a mutual faith in God, they hold a combined sense of safety and accountability. I can be gut wrenchingly honest and know that the response will be full of grace and truth. And that, even in the darkest of times, we will find things to laugh about. Shared pain and shared laughter build a solid foundation for growth and joy, and that's what I've found in my closest friends.

Shattered Justice ~ Kaleidoscope Eyes ~ What Lies Within

Friendship Friday ~ What do you value in your close friendships with women?

Tosca Lee

Authenticity. With my dear girlfriends, I can admit my highest ambitions and my secret sins, share my greatest successes and mourn my greatest lows. I can worry over relationships, discuss money, share things God is teaching me, contemplate the merits of botox, and talk out loud about my consistent battle with Irritable Bowel.

You can’t do all that with just anyone, you know. :D

Demon: A Memoir ~ Havah: The Story of Eve



Elizabeth White

This is a wonderful question. Besides my mom and my three younger sisters, who are perhaps closest to me for obvious reasons, I have one "best" friend.. I met Tammy in a college fiction writing class twenty-two years ago. We pray and read the Bible together regularly and pray for one another consistently. We review and critique one another's writing; we pursue a variety of creative outlets like music and arts and crafts. We go to different churches, but we teach one another, rebuke and encourage one another. She's struggled with singleness, cancer and the loss of both parents; I've struggled with the loss of publishers, finishing grad school, a horrible job, and a wayward child. I literally don't know what I would've done without her spiritual wisdom and feminine compassion. I would not be the writer I am today without her input and prayer support. I also have other women friends who fill in gaps and challenge me to grow as a Christian and as an artist. Other pastor's wives, fellow teachers, fellow musicians and writers...these women have kept me grounded and humble, as well as encouraged and mentored me. God has truly blessed me, and the more I think about it, the more absolutely in awe I stand!

Fireworks ~ Fair Game ~ Controlling Interest ~ Tour de Force

Friendship Friday ~ What do you value in your close friendships with women?

This is Friendship Friday on a Tuesday! These posts had totally slipped my mind and they are too good to miss so I am posting one today and will be back on track on Friday.

Enjoy :)

Lisa McKay

Oooohhhh, friendships...

One of my favorite topics and one I grew to appreciate rather later in life than most. After growing up so transient - with seven international moves in my life by the age of 20 - I didn't really figure out that if I wanted to hold onto my friends across oceans I was going to have to work harder than most. When I arrived in Australia to go to uni I stayed six years, and during that time I was blessed with an friendship group that's still going strong today. Two of those friends who did psych with me are still my closest girlfriends even though I haven't lived at home for about seven years now, and they were both in my wedding in Jan. We started something we do every week - sending a "goals" letter on Mondays. So most Monday's (or thereabouts) no matter where I am in the world I receive a letter from the two of them telling me what some of their goals are for the next week, and reporting on how they did on their goals for last week. It helps us stay connected to what we're each focusing on and feel as if we know what's going on in each others lives. So, I think that's one of the things I value most - the continuity and that sense of being tracked and known and valued over time. It's so hard to hang onto that in a world that moves as far and fast as ours can now. And my friendships all over the world, but particularly in Australia, help me feel rooted and grounded. Not so much in place (though one day I'm planning on living back in Oz) but in a relational network that is an intangible home.

~My Hands Came Away Red~



Cheryl Wyatt

I value someone who knows me fully (the good, bad, ugly) but loves me anyway. Someone who, when I confide, holds that confidence as in a vault. Someone who won't just tell me what I want to hear but will tell me the truth in a loving way. Someone who will stick by me through thick and thin and who understands life's busy seasons. Someone who will pray their guts and heart out for me when I'm going through something hard. Someone I can fully know and be fully known to and love through our differences. Someone to be real with and know they're being real with me. Someone to laugh with. Someone who can tolerate my strange sense of humor. Someone who inspires me to grow deeper with God and to run harder after Jesus. Someone I can reciprocate all of the above with, and be that kind of friend for them too. Hugs!

A Soldier’s Promise ~ A Soldier’s Family ~ Ready-Made Family ~ A Soldier's Reunion

Friendship Friday ~ What do you value in your close friendships with women?

Marlo Schalesky

What I value most is friends who can speak the truth in love, friends who say what they mean and mean what they say. I love being able to be open, honest, and genuine with friends, and having them be the same. It may be because I’m a fiction writer, but I love it when friends have their own unique character/personality traits, quirks, and mannerisms – and they allow themselves to be themselves, not trying to “fit in” and be like everyone else. It’s friends like that who I love walking with on my life journey with God.

If Tomorrow Never Comes ~ Beyond the Night ~ Empty Womb, Aching Heart



Ann Shorey

I most value the understanding and trust that exists with my close women friends. It takes a woman to understand a woman! One friend especially has walked with me through grief--when my husband and then my precious younger sister died--and through joy--when I met and married Richard. She got tears in her eyes when I received my author copies of my first novel! We've been sisters in heart for more than twenty years.

The Edge of Light

Friendship Friday ~ What do you value in your close friendships with women?

Julie Lessman

Gosh, THANK YOU for including me in this very cool assignment -- I am THRILLED! You said a "one word answer" would be totally fine, but ... uh, as you know from my almost 500-page books, I am not capable of a "one word answer." :)

Well, other than the fact that I can relate to women better than men because most are just as hormonal as me, I would have to say the thing I value the most in my friendships with women is their willingness to pray about any and everything right on the spot. You see, I'm one of these passionate types that if a problem is mentioned in a conversation, I want to nail it right then and there with a well-aimed prayer. And although this is not common for most people, most of my very close women friends have embraced this bold and brazen part of my personality with grace and gratitude, always allowing me to pray with them, or them for me. I so appreciate that I can be who I am with them, taking all problems to the throne of grace without an eyebrow raised or a roll of the eyes. Uh, not that I would care, of course ... but it's nice to have friendships with women who feel the way I do about God and prayer and wholeheartedly support me in that endeavor. Hugs, Julie

A Passion Most Pure ~ A Passion Redeemed ~ A Passion Denied




Maggie Brendan

One of the things I value most of all in my best friend is total acceptance—that she values all facets of me-my good points and my spirituality but accepts my flaws, and loves me in spite of them. She is a constant encourager and points out things that I don’t even know about myself and we pray together (sometimes). She doesn’t just say that I’m a blessing but that God has made me blessed and has his hand on me—and explained to me the difference. But she said being blessed comes with more expectation of me, and that can be a burden.

No Place For a Lady ~ The Jewel of His Heart, October, 2009

Friendship Friday ~ What do you value in your close friendships with other women?

Tamara Leigh

Yesterday I was beautifully reminded of one of the things I most value in friendship. This is it: A friend who misses me when I don't make it to church for whatever real or lazy reason keeps me away, who gently encourages me, who lets me know she's here for me, and when she says she'll pray for me, means it. In this case, that friend would be Kendra :) And I thank you, my Australian friend, for your friendship as well.

Stealing Adda ~ Perfecting Kate ~ Splitting Harriet ~ Faking Grace ~

Leaving Carolina - Sept,09

Candace Calvert

The freedom to be honest and vulnerable, with no need for protective pretense. Because these sisters have “been there,” too.

RX: Hope
The Mercy Hospital Series
Critical Care

Friendship Friday ~ What do you value in your close friendships with other women?

I recently coordinated our annual women's retreat with the theme, thanks to the lovely Sharon Hinck - Growing Together ~ Deeper with God and with Each Other. So many of the wonderful authors you know answered this simple question for me which I then diplayed at the retreat in a powerpoint presentation -

What do you value in your close friendships with other women?

I didn't want my readers missing out on these lovely gems so over the next few months, every Friday, you will get the chance to read two author's answers to this question. Enjoy!

Deborah Raney

I think what I value most is being able to be myself, and know I'm loved anyway. To know that if I share a failure, my friends won't love me any less––in fact, they'll probably love me more. It's also wonderful to know that my friends are praying for me, and wanting God's very best for me, as I do for them.

Remember to Forget - Leaving November - Yesterday's Embers

Camy Tang

For my close friendships, they add value to my life. It's not just me
giving, giving, giving (I was burned by a few emotional vampires). My
close friends always tell me the truth about myself even and
especially if it's ugly, because they're confident enough in our love
for each other to know I appreciate the honesty. I do the same for
them, and they can accept the truth from me without being (too)
defensive. My close friends and I also encourage each other
spiritually to walk closer with God.

Sushi for One? - Only Uni - Single Sashimi - Deadly Intent (2009)